Behind the Scenes of
Idiots Anonymous

Eureka… My Archimedes moment. But I wasn’t in the bath - I was sat at my laptop wondering if I could write a feature that could be shot for pennies. I knew it would have to be a dialogue-led effort, but who would be interested in that?

12 Angry Men and The Breakfast Club were two exciting examples where dialogue-heavy films had wooed the world. The difference was, I knew I wouldn’t have millions of dollars to throw at this. I had half a dozen other screenplays that needed huge budgets. To reach that point, this project had to be cheap by comparison, which meant it had to be clever.

I came up with the name first. The title hit me, and the script followed. This was in 2019. I wrote 50 pages that night. I literally couldn’t stop writing. Over time it grew to be 80 pages. It wasn’t a thick wad of paper, but that wasn’t the reason why it was the easiest screenplay I’d ever written. I simply find dialogue easy to generate.

The premise was straightforward: a dozen or so parolees gathering for the first time at a group therapy meeting - because a judge thought they deserved a second chance. The characters poured onto the page, and the New York dialogue was strong and charming in its way. But six years on, Sir Keir Starmer was releasing UK prisoners early, and suddenly I had my window. I converted the lingo and set it in good ol’ Blighty.

It began with a cast of nine. It was first a screenplay, then was converted to be a podcast and then adapted back into a movie. But before that change of setting I thought we needed to have a Brit in there somewhere, and so I created the character of Francine. Perhaps ironically, when the setting changed back to the UK, Francine became American. I hadn’t planned it that way… but the excellent actress that I found to play the role just happened to be from the US (Niki Awa Moore).

Because the dialogue is so important, a really good Boom Operator was essential. We were fortunate to have Sam Cheshire on Kevin’s team. He was always in my way… 😉 ha-ha.

The concept has evolved a little, from the original ’90-minute argument' idea. If you watch an action movie and it’s full-on for two-hours, it becomes incredibly dull… One needs nuance, subtlety and pauses in the narrative. You have to try to imagine an audience not only encouraged but genuinely desperate to stay with you until the end. The dialogue has to engage the audience… The audience must be entertained, not bored to tears.

I didn’t really have a choice in it being like a play, because shooting it in three days meant it had to be fully rehearsed and the cast had to be on-book. I knew that if we shot the film 'in scope’ - widescreen with an aspect ratio of 2.39:1 - we had a chance of creating a cinematic look.

I’m fortunate that two of my best friends are cinematographers: Trevor Coop and John E. Fry. Trev is a legend, with more than a hundred Hollywood films to his name. A Warner Bros man, he brings unique knowledge and creativity. He and John E. Fry (who brought the camera team and a wealth of acumen) managed to work out a plan together. It’s almost unheard of to have two DPs on one shoot and I was waiting for the friction, but there was nothing but mutual respect, and it made for a really happy production.

The whole film was shot it in three days. This meant that my cast had to be excellent. They had to know their lines - 100%. If one of them had turned up unprepared, the whole thing would’ve collapsed. It’s a completely actor-dependent play. We rehearsed solidly for three days solid and then we shot it live.

We used six cameras, and then turned the glass around and filmed the other side of the room -with the rest of the cast in the same way. Effectively we had to shoot the film six times, with takes lasting 40 to 90 minutes… and of course sometimes there were errors, and we had to reshoot some of the scenes… At other times we just wanted to add new angles, - thanks to Jay Cox, Chad Chadwick, Jason Coop, Mad Max Pratchett and Jim Light.

On the third day we shot all the pickups and second unit material. It was an unusual way to deliver a feature film: a live performance, filmed as though it were television, and then cut together as a feature. It was a lot of fun though… Cast and crew became a team immediately. When you’re only shooting for a few days, there’s no BS… you just get on and do the job. Cast-wise I had some real theatre pros - Sara Dee, Jean-Luc Julien, Charlotte Thomas and Julia Savill - supported by resident French stager Laurent C Lucas.

The basic AA-style set up couldn’t be avoided - a circular formation of chairs, 10 people conversing for 90 minutes… No thrilling action, no sex - so the conversation had to be really intriguing! It’s one of those films that you couldn’t shoot to a formula… and yet, the final edit is a classic three-act movie. It’s the opposite of Mission: Impossible in action terms, but it delivers more meaningful high drama at the appropriate moments. Powerful performances came from amazing supporting leads, Autin Caley, Fiona Lynn and Toki Ogunkolati.

The dialogue came very quickly. I have no idea where these characters interloped from though. Sometimes the universe just hits us writers with a pulsar-blast of schiz or something.

One of the stories that I used was told to me by a friend about a dozen years ago, about his brother mutilating flies in the bath. I thought it would be fun to have our eldest cast member tell that story… but then I discovered that it was, in fact, a Ricky Gervais tale! I’ve been a fan of Ricky for decades - I even saw him live once in Portsmouth - but I didn't remember this story. It’s so gross, I should never have forgotten it if I had. Anyway, we recorded it, and someone pointed out that it belonged to Ricky. I contacted his agents, we had a to and fro and I sent them a quickly edited version of the 30-second segment… and Ricky agreed that we could use it. So that worked out just fine. Many thanks to him for that. I say that but it really is an ‘orrible story!

Until the cast were on-book, and delivering their lines almost perfectly, there was no room for adlibs, they’re dangerous. By day three of the rehearsal though- they were ready to experiment, and I asked them to come to me with ideas for expanding the characters. Everybody brought something, just to make life extra difficult for the Script Supervisor (Stefania Dall’Armi) and our Prompter (Lorraine Molloy).

There is a moment between the characters of ‘Shithead’ (Richard Summers-Calvert) and ‘Shaky’ (Jean-Luc Julien), where they entangle. The choreography was worked out between these two great actors, not a fight, but physical interaction, nevertheless. It’s quite a powerful scene- they really brought the words to life. It’s incredibly cinematic…

When you are confined to a single room, limited space, the location is rather intimate and incredibly difficult to film moments like this, but they are entirely worth the effort. I was very lucky, the actors that I chose worked real closely with each other - and are absolutely brilliant. I think they’re going to get their break from this.

From my perspective every moment was crazy, in a way. The Sound Recordist/Designer, Kevin Harper, utilised six booms and ten lavalier-mics, to be certain of capturing all the dialogue.

I’m used to being with my cast in the moment, when filming. But in this situation, most of the crew and the consultant cinematographer and the DoP were sent with me, into an adjoining room, to watch it all unfold on six monitors. The AD, script prompter and boom technician (and some of the camera crew) had headsets and were being fed instruction that way.

Producer Gillian Tully even had a cameo as ‘Maud, the bored security gal’… because one of my cast had to drop out- Paul Robert Bird, who we retained as Property Master. Film shoots are musical chairs, I tell ya.

Because the cast were on book, it ran smoothly, incredibly smoothly, insanely smoothly. I sat there with an immense sense of pride at my team.

You trust your cast. We had the workshops and deep and meaningful conversations and rehearsals, and they learned their lines. My fear of course, was that they’d stumble, and we’d be stopping every couple of minutes, having to reset. I just let the cameras run and if we had a problem, we could always throw in a board, cos everything was synced- cameras to sound, so it was pretty easy. Any fears I might have had about takes being too short - were quickly resolved. It’s literally all to do with the quality of the actor.

This is the greatest dilemma. Dynamism. The cast must be engaging. If the audience buy in, quickly enough, we have them! It’s a fine line between enticing and delivering. There are other folk that come into play when the shooting is over… the postproduction team. Baj is the editor, and super talented Josh Reynolds is providing the graphics, Rhys Williams is our amazing Animation Director, and the Grade is being provided by planet Earth’s greatest Colourist, Tom Kelly . And then of course there’s the score- Dale Sumner is our splendiferous Composer, and two tracks by Southampton’s Soul King Olu Rowe…

If it came down to one thing, at the risk of repetition… I would say “make sure you find a brilliant cast, who will study the pages and deliver faultless performances every time”. I mainly chose people who trod the boards in theatreland, as opposed to film or on television. They have to get used to the cameras, but it’s all about delivery. If they can’t remember a 90 minute play… they will fail, and so will you.

The cast is the most important element in a film like this. Don’t get me wrong, you need a brilliant crew, if the cast can’t perform, it doesn’t matter how good your crew are… you won’t have a film. I think it might be some kind of record, shooting for just three days?

There is literally one desperately important ingredient for a successful shoot though… the food! If the grub stinks morale hits the fan. We had Ed Heller of BW Ghost Kitchen looking after us. He was amazing. Perfect food and at the right price.

I’ve known for thirty years not to attempt a shoot without a 1ST AD… but I honestly thought I could get this one in the can– cold… but no. I pulled in the services of Sophie Wyard at the last minute, to keep the shoot running smoothly. Always have an AD, Always.

I think, as professional filmmakers, we don’t have too many misconceptions… we plan. You still need a crew, no matter how restricted in number. Our Gaffer, Phill Robinson has been with me (on and off) 29 years… half of that time I wasn’t doing much in film… but he’s been there for most of my shoots.

Production stills are really important. We used Jan Pavelka for the BTS stuff, he’s brilliant, Ridley Scott’s guy, y’know… only the best for us. 😉 His material is being ‘manipulated’ by the incredible Art Director, Grant Kempster and our genius Marketing Specialist Kristy Young.

Attempting a shoot like this, isn’t an entry-level kind of gig. It takes the expertise of everyone involved - a true team effort. The important thing is to make sure that you have that great cast and crew. It’s hard to lose, with a roomful of winners.

I looked back at the Greeks… Sophocles, Euripides and Aeschylus. I took their premise of tragedy and coupled it with comedy. Something of a risk these days, as humanity seems to be losing its wit, along with its wits.

Laughter has been scientifically proven to be of immense cathartic value. It is better to laugh than to cry. Usually. There aren’t many belly laughs here though, it’s more about shock and recovering with occasional uncomfortable amusement.

Are you a psychologist? :-) There are 12 actors in all. One of them, Dave Lee who plays the judge- we filmed him at the end of the last day of principal photography (there was only principal photography), for the purpose of cutting a few trailer ‘pointers’ to the film. Hopefully humorous introductions for an unsuspecting audience. I have met a few judges… but I don’t recollect wanting to be one.

They all exploded out of my mind, as characters, and fell onto the page before me. Do I relate to any of them? No, I don’t think so. Each of them came from some element of my psyche, or a remembered glimpse into someone else’s, but I do not know them, per se. I have seen them though, lurking in the shadows, but I know them, not.

Each character is different. This is reflected in the beautiful dialogue 😉 They are as different as the people playing them. The editor (Simon Baj Woodward) keeps tabs on the eyelines… so they all get plenty of screentime.

Costume obviously helps to bring the characters to life. It’s like a uniform to the actors. Costume Designer Kyla Little created the distinctive individual attire, and Hekla Hrund was the busy Wardrobe Supervisor.

One of the great surprises will come from Hillary. A lovely, sweet, adorable, butter-wouldn’t melt 70-year-old woman… with a refined tone, charged with conversational wit and shocking profanity :-) – That’s all I’m saying…

If you don’t laugh, you cry… I think my father said that to me when I was a child… I don’t know who told him. Perhaps it was his father? But it is a truism. We each have a choice. After a period of loneliness/depression, it’s time to convert that energy into something positive. I’ve met people who would not allow themselves to be victimised, beyond actually being a victim… If you know what I mean? Some people can turn it around.

I think you must trust the audience. Some people will be appalled by wit being drawn from abject misery, and others will embrace the alternative perspective. I am certain that I will be criticised greatly for some of the verbiage herewith. But really, it’s the characters that are talking--- not me. I just scratched it onto the page.

Disarming

Base

Relevant

I’m long in the tooth… and so don’t really make mistakes, as such (he said, smiling) but there are always things that happen. Planning saves your butt, but nature has a sense of humour. Even my short films were shot over the course of a week or two. So, trying to bang out 90 minutes in three days is in itself--- a tall order. I can’t say- that there weren’t a couple of dozen things that didn’t go completely to plan, but you just have to adapt.

I was so in the moment… that I can’t remember anything that went particularly wrong. Although there were mistakes and problems but each got solved… such is the way of production.

I think some of the crew had the biggest curve. Our original Make-Up Dept had to pull out—due to a prior commitment moving schedule. Our next Make-Up Dept Head, Aster Cook had to be rushed to hospital prior to the shoot and her junior had to pick up the gauntlet. It was her first shoot… but you would never have known. Megan Atkin became the Lead Special FX Make-Up Artist, a total pro. Her lecturers had taught her well! She was professional and highly talented. Her assistant was the charming Brithany Rea. The Universe was kind to us.

Another whole day of production?

Hey, don’t go spoiling me now…, hmm, I wanted a day of whip-pans, which I didn’t get, well, I managed to get one. If I had another day, I think I would shoot elements of backstory for the monologues. But you can’t really do that in a play, anyway… Unless you’re going to use projectors and such the like. I don’t think I needed another day, not for this. Three-day rehearsal, three-day shoot, three-months of post. Perfect.

There are always challenges. The most unexpected? I’m racking my brains, I really can’t think of anything. My camera team, led by DP John E Fry, weren’t aware they were due to be on set, on the last day of rehearsals… for a lighting check and camera run-through. But one of the camera-operators Jay Cox turned up after a night shoot in Birmingham and saved the day, shooting tests with Jason Coop (World War Z etc).

If department-heads had other issues that I didn’t know about, maybe I heard of something later, but everybody did their job, in the most marvellous way possible. It’s a great team. I shall take them onto the next gig… If they’re available?

Well, I’m a sci-fi guy… That’s the kind of stuff I wanna shoot. I’ve rarely had the opportunity. Even though I’ve written most of the films I’ve shot, they were stories that I put together to suit the moment. I have filmed most genres, horror is the most fun… But every genre has its lures and excitement.

I have a few screenplays lined up to shoot the next one currently on the list is the farm, a thriller with a slash a horror end. I want to get on and shoot that one. I also have a multi million dollar horror currently sitting with a broker in London. ‘Hell’s Gate’ really looking forward to that one. There’s a gangsta flick, currently called Black Russian, that used to be called Fall of the Roman Empire… I don’t know what to do with that one yet… But I have to get it shot. It was to be a vehicle for Ray Winstone 20 years ago, but he got the call from Mr Spielberg… And that was the end of that. That’s pretty much why I quit film. I went off to drive a lorry for Argos DHL… For five years. Running away? Most likely.